Tell Me If It Hurts
by thegreeneyed-doe
Summary: Setting: Right after Lily and James moved into Godrics Hollow, after the full moon. James is away visiting with his family for the week.


Lily was about to go down to Diagon Alley to pick up a few things that she needed for the night. Only when she opened the door, the sight she found sent her world wharling, leaving her a bit dizzy. But she didn't have time to worry about her self, not when collapsed on her doorstep was a rather bloody Remus Lupin, her oldest and closest friend from Hogwarts. Quickly, but carefully, she cast a levitation spell to lift him into the house.

Her home was rather small, not a lot of extra space for a wounded man, but for Remus she'd find the space. Softly laying him ontop of the table, she went to fetch some water to clear off the blood, before she could properly try to use any sort of healing charms. THough it was risky, Lily had never excelled at them, even for a witch as bright as her.

She impatiently waited for the bowl to fill with luke warm water, her mind buzzing with thoughts. The full moon had just passed last night, clearly that was the cause of what had happened. But what creature or person attacked him so horribly? That probably wasn't the real matter she should be worried about right now, she needed to make sure he lived. That was what mattered, the only thing that mattered at all to her. Because without Remus as her best friend, to get her through everything, how would she go on?

Finally she returned to the room, dipping a soft cloth in the water, she gazed down at him for a moment. With her free hand she swept his always too messy locks out of his face, her finger tips trailing over the scar that he had acquired during their seventh year. Remus has been through so much, felt so much pain, and yet he was an extraordinary man by all means.

She sighed and with a gentle touch she brushed the rag cloth against his skin, automatically hearing a groan sound from within him. "Shh," she whispered quietly, stroking her hand over his hair again. "I know, I know, I'm sorry. But I have to clean it." At least he was alive, even if his eyes weren't open, the soft shiver that vibrated through him and quiet groans he made as she cleaned his wounds, were reassuring enough.

Eventually the bowl of water turned a faded pink and ran cold as a very irritated Lily trying to use healing charms on her friend. But each one failed as horribly as the last and soon she gave up on them altogether. The one good thing that came from being a muggleborn, was that she knew there were other things that could heal him, without magic. They may not be ask quick and she probably should have just taken him to Mungos, but they would have made her leave him. She was well aware that along as she had knowledge that he was hurt, Lily wouldn't be able to leave his side.

Remus' whole chest was covered with bandages, when she once again lifted him into the air and transported him to her bed, where he would be more comfortable. He seemed to have passed out at some point while she was putting on the rubbing alcohol to disinfect the cuts, so for now she decided to just let him rest. Until he was able to wake up or move, she would sleep on the couch, which was more the okay with her as long as there was some sort of progress.

But as the days drew on, Lily grew more and more anxious, that he might not wake up at all. She simply sat by the bedside, waiting to her back from Padfoot or Prongs, but word never came from either of them. And Lily could sit there and whisper comforting things to him for as long as she needed, but who was going to comfort her if those beautiful eyes of his never looked at her again.

There was hope though, each day she could see little signs that meant improvement. The color returning to his face or maybe even the slight movement of his hand as she went to hold it. She only hoped that she wasn't imagining it.

It wasn't until late Friday evening when she went to go change his bandages that she felt the warmth of a hand grip around her rest. Her eyes trailed up from his abdomen, where her hand had laid, up to his face. There she found his brilliantly beautiful eyes and his equally mesmerizing smile boring down upon her. And in that moment she wanted to cry, she wanted to throw herself at him and wrap her arms around him. But for some reason, she also found herself wanted to whisper sweet nothings to him. So instead of doing any of those things her body was desperately fighting against her to do, she composed herself and simply smiled up at him with a twinkle in her eyes, that could only belong to the green eyed doe.

He sat up, his eyes watching hers as if there was suspesion hidden somewhere beneath him. Like he could see right through the strong front that Lily put up, because try as she may, she could never hide anything from Remus. He knew her all to well to fall for her tricks. Lily tried to urge him back down, but he shook his head, "Lily, I'm fine really," he insisted.

"I've got to change your bandages," she said stubbornly, her eyes never quite meeting his. Whether he liked it or not, she was going to clean them. Slowly, so as not to hurt him, she unwrapped him, feeling his eyes burning into her skull with each passing moment, but she pretended to be too concentrated on what she was doing to truly notice. She took the damp cloth in her hand, like she had for the past seven days, "tell me if it hurts," she muttered quietly. Just as her hand stoked against her his chest, she felt his own hand against her cheek, pulling her head up slightly so her gaze was forced to meet his.

Looking at Remus was never quite like looking at any other person, its like his eyes could see right past your person and into your soul. His thumb stroked across his cheek and the thought of James was somewhere buried deep in her mind. "Remus… We can't…"

"Yes," he murmured softly, his face inching closer to her slowly, judging her eyes for permission instead of her words. "We can," he got out, just before his lips claimed her. An emotion she had never quite felt before electrified her, this was not just a kiss, she could feel it everywhere. From her finger tips to her lips and back, the sensation that was Remus Lupin, took over her. And for the moment, she buried herself into him, drinking in this moment, because surely it would never come again. But all too soon, the sound of her front door slamming startled her and she snapped away. Clearing her throat as she heard foot steps running in their direction, she quickly got up from where she sat, with cheeks that were all too flushed as James and Sirius both walked into the room. Luckily though, they both seemed too intent on making sure he was okay, to chance a glance at her. "He uh- he just woke up," she said, rather quickly, "I'll let you guys um… I'll be downstairs," she finally spat out as she walked over to the door.

She chance a glance at him over her shoulder, just as she went to slip out of the room and sure enough, his eyes were on her too. For a fleeting moment, she wished James and Sirius hadn't walked in, that their moment had not been ruined. But it was for the best, this could in no way end well. Not when James loved her the way he did and cared for Remus with more intensity then he cared for any other. Their betrayal would stay a secret. So she simply shook her head slowly, as she closed the door behind her. Feeling herself shatter the moment she did so, but she had to keep moving, she couldn't allow herself to turn back. She walked down the hall, swearing to forget, not only for her sake, but for his as well. With great love, comes great sacrifice.

And in that moment, she was the greatest love, he would ever have.


End file.
